you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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