Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
