A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
