HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
