I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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