I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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