Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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