and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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