so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
