Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
