I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
