i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
