Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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