I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
