I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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