So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
