That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize