And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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