I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
