That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
