you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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