Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
