you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
