uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
