Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
