put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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