sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
