i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
COCAINE IS GR8
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
