no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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