Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can text with my tongue
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
