I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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