I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize