I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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