Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
