Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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