what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
