I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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