So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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