she was so not down for the gang bang
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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