I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
