What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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