You just made me feel so damn special
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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