I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize