I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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