The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
