I met the friendliest cop last night
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize