ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I intend to get homeless drunk
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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