he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
