i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Panties = found
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
