I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
