batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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