I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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