There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize