I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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