Don't make out with my wife yet
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
