Need sex. Gaining weight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
