Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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