I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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