Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
where does the pee come out of this thing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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