But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My liver just had a heart attack.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
