Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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