It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
