Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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