Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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