her vagine was all disorganized.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
