you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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