I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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