her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize