cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
