I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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