i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
