its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
