i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
