you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
