Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
