I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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