Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
