Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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